Like parents who pretend they love all their kids equally, we at Only Tans Vacations like to say we adore every resort, cruise line, and destination the same. But let’s be real—we have favorites. 🏝️🔥
Our top picks are the ones that treat our clients like royalty, keep the cocktails flowing, and have sunsets so stunning they make you question all your life choices.
We rigorously test them with scientific methods like “Which beach bar makes the strongest margarita?” and “Does the spa make us forget our email password?” We believe in unlimited luxury, adventure-packed cruises, and beaches so soft they feel like a warm hug from the vacation gods. So yes, we play favorites—because life’s too short for mediocre vacations.
Want in on our top-secret list? Just book with us and we’ll spill all the tea (or tequila).🍹😎 #NoFansJustTans #WePickTheBestSoYouGetTheBest
"Escape reality, get some sun, and let’s pretend responsibilities don’t exist!" 🌊🍾
At Only Tans Vacations, we love all cruise lines… but Virgin Voyages? Oh, they’re the favorite child, and we’re not even pretending otherwise. 😏 Why? Because they ditched buffets, banned kids, and made cruising cool again.Think luxury without the stuffy, nightlife without the cringe, and food so good you might "accidentally" miss a port stop. 🍽️🍸 Their ships are basically floating beach clubs, where the vibe is modern, fun, and just the right amount of naughty. From drag brunches to sunset DJ sets, private balconies with hammocks (because why not?), and a spa that makes you forget real life exists—it’s everything you never knew a cruise could be. So yes, we’re obsessed. Yes, we’re booking you on one. And no, we won’t apologize. 🚢🔥 #NoBuffetsNoKidsNoBrainer #SailVirginStayTanned
May 29, 2025 - Jun 8, 2025 From $6690.00
Set sail from Athens for 10 nights on an unparalleled journey to see some of the most beautiful places the Aegean and Adriatic seas have to offer. From an overnight stay in mythical Mykonos to extended days in Dubrovnik, Santorini, and beguiling Bodrum
November 8-20 2025 From $4590
This 12-night voyage from Miami stops in Aruba, Curaçao, Colombia, Jamaica, and the Cayman Islands. Perhaps the most exciting part of the trip is spending a night in Cartagena, Colombia. Cartagena is known for its colorful colonial architecture, walled 16th century Old Town, narrow stone walkways, and white sand beaches – as well as its archipelago of small islands that can be explored by boat.
June 23, 2026 - July 2, 2026 From $5735
This 9-night nautical North Pacific journey departs from Seattle and spends a day sailing up the wondrous Inside Passage to Ketchikan, AK in the heart of the Tongass National Forest. From there you’ll go to Icy Strait Point before sailing past the picturesque Hubbard Glacier on the way to Sitka. Next, spend two days sailing to Canada’s playground, Victoria, BC before returning to Seattle.